16. Studying Yu Da Business was Good

In my early age, I often failed all exams; I would find my father to sealed my exam’s papers, because he always felt sorry for me, as long as I had make progress on it. My dad often sighed, and said: "studying is not good, Yu Da business school educated up a little of grade, after that I will get married quickly!"

At junior high school, my parents sent me to the star school – Chang-An Girls’ school, but I had a lot of pressure for every two weeks, there were major changes for my classmates, the good classmates often went better class, and low points’ students came to my class. Then I attended there for three years, and then last two years, I was sleeping on the desk or leaning against the bed side, very few lying on my bed.



       At that time, I only learnt math during  summer vacation, one summer, I found my own love at mathematics, but the language subjects which I hated, because could not remember words or sentences. And my English had to re-exam again.

I was studying very hard, but it could be stressful. If I did not pass my national exam, could I only go to Yu Da commercial class for business?

15. Mama, “Do not hit me”

Disciple Training School Staffs and

Students

DTS Foreign Roommates

Before the age of 12, I had lived each day with afraid of life and fear, and I thought today how many times was my mother beating me? I did not know how to please her to like me as same as my younger brother? As I was born, my face was saying "hit me!" “Why does she always beat me?” The end I did not know where I was wrong?

At that time, I know how to detect the face of color, and I saw my mother a bad mood with her face, I would hide in the closet or under the bed. And so her face was getting better, and then I would come out to play. Therefore I always thought it was my fault, it must be a big mistake on me, but I did not know what was I going wrong? Maybe was I an adopted daughter on TV in the drama?

When I Grew up to ten years old, I watched cartoons on TV, Donald ran away from his home, it went to its biological parents, its shoulders carried a burden to lug with a stick; I acted as this drama. But I did not go far away; my mother had called back and said; “I am her own daughter.” It seemed to draw everything with the full stop, but my heart had those questions, it would never ever have answers for the end.

Until I was thirty-one years old and I lived in Christchurch in New Zealand and I had studied with Youth With a Mission for Discipleship Training School. One female speaker of the inner healing, then she prayed to God for me, I had suddenly been shouting; "Mom! I am not wrong, why do you hit me?" This was the question for over many years, I could not bear guilt and Jesus has released me. At that time, I was crying and crying, Lord Jesus, “you come and save me.” This inner healing speaker frightened, and had been repeatedly said; "You have done nothing wrong!"

 
The fact, I was twenty-nine years old, my mother was due to lung cancer which grew in the lines of her body.  If I have released a little earlier, then my mom would have gone with more peaceful heart.

14 Last Number Second

In the elementary school, my headache was tutorial teacher house for more study with other classmates in the same class, so I told a lie to my mother and I said: "I'm going to my tutorial teacher house!" I really did go other students home for playing; and then I deceived my teacher and said: "My Mother does not allow me to your home for tutorial class."

Results in an examination, I became second to last, class teacher, same as my tutorial teacher, invited my mother to come to school, and my mother was angry and she hit me in front of students and teachers faces, but I ran forward, and my mother ran after me, until there was no way to run, she  caught me, then she had beaten up a lot, my heart was not satisfied, because last one had failed this exam, he also went to this tutorial house for study. That time, our class teacher had the tutorial study; we need to pay her more money for this class. She was also same teacher for our class. Why did our teacher not ask for last one family? Only my mother came.

Result, I went back to my class teacher’s home for catching up. Where is really justice?  Where is that Jesus?

13. Jesus Has Really Done!



When I was in primary school, and I was afraid to go to my class, because I could not memorize context of Chinese book, when I memorized badly, my teacher would hit my hands with a bamboo stick which had been cut into ten pieces, she bet my hands one times, it would been leaving ten marks. In the winter, my hands could not wash my face with my hands which were very painful to do it. So I hate to go to school.

One day, someone came to our military community, and they invited children to Nishimatsu church, and I was one of them. Sunday school teacher taught us how to pray to Jesus? In the beginning with Dear Jesus, pray for the contents in the middle, then we would finish with the Name of the Lord Jesus we pray, and you remembered to said; "Amen!"

After returning home, I told Jesus, and I desired the typhoon, I thought the typhoon came; I would not need to go to school. I followed the Sunday school teacher's way for prayer, as the prayer was over; then I remembered the end, and said; "Amen!" After that I was waiting until at eight that evening, and I saw the weather report, but this reporter did not report a typhoon, but I went to bed with full of the confidence.

The next morning at five o'clock, my mother said to me; "broadcast reported that one typhoon was coming, and there were no class for elementary school students." I turned toward the wall, and said softly; "Jesus, you take it seriously!" 

12. Run Quickly



I grew up very art and dreaming, and often made the mistakes. One day, at home, I made the green spring pancakes, and made a dough, put in green spring onions, then I had made pancakes by my hands, and I put into a fry pan, then I fry it, after that it turned out more smoke more black until the pan was being burned into a big hole, and I just picked up fry pan and looked at this hole, then I saw my mom who just entered, her angry fire was hitting our roof, I threw away the fry pan and I  flew, then my mother ran after me, I ran from the fifth of village of Women's Federation to fourth of village, and finally my mother hold-ups me, and then she said to me: "Go home," I was being beating more by her.

I was so pity. At school, my teachers were beating me; at home I was being hitting by my mother. I always asked; “Why does God not deliver me from them?”

11. My Genius Younger Brother

In rear is my younger brother

As my genius younger brother was nine months, he walked and talked. In the eyes of our parents who had the great expectations in Hope, then my genius younger brother taught me how to speak and taking me to play video games at Top Good, and he was best in all.

In my childhood, I was half a head taller than my younger brother, we were often fighting and fighting, then my mother often said; "I am tired of you both, and the two are enough!" He had in trouble outside from time to time; I was staying at home all day long. In mother's dictionary:  one of her children made mistakes, another child had been beaten to accompany with him or her, because my mother did not want another child laughed at him or her who was being beaten, my younger brother, made wrongdoings every day, I had to accompany him by my mother’s beating every day – we were being beaten, plus knelt.

Once, my younger brother and his classmate went out with a dozen girls in their school and play at pub, they had been arrested, sent back to school for discipline. In addition, when he examined the private high school, he actually fell asleep in the examination room. The junior college exam results were being announced, and my younger brother took the test which was also good, he wanted to study at New World, but my father would like him to study engineering, and his score was more than enough to study star Junior College, but he was angry at our parents, he resigned to my junior college, as he said: "do not study the new world, study star; do not study stars, study Fu Hsing Junior College .... ." Then my younger brother studied Architect in his first year, there were often people around me, they wanted to beat him up. My male classmates said; "Your younger brother is too proud." That time, the new students needed to accept the school seniors training or the tough orientation, even the girls that I knew; they also trained the new ones until they would come to the second grade, they would get out this misery time.

My genius younger brother, once he was surrounded by a dozen seniors and they beat him badly, when there emerged one who was fighting for my younger brother to others. He became my younger brother fighting accompany, his name is Jin Gao who have helped my younger brother,  Jin Gao was beating others, he often got demerits; because of his good English, each time, the English Speech Contest, he was on behalf of the school which he participated it and he got a good prize, then our junior college used his prize to kill his mistakes. After that my younger brother and Jin Gao became friends, they often brought people to gang war on the streets.

My younger brother could not stand at Fu Hsing, so that he tested and inserted to another Junior College – Shi Zheng Architectural Subject, then they had to read six years, there he met many good friends in the same class, when he was in the exam, he went to sleep and  his classmates were staying up all night long and but my younger brother had better exam scores than his classmates but also, he was really good. Yeah!

My younger brother also went to church with me for some period of time, he said: "Wondering the Church!" And he did not stay, and even many church sisters have liked him. But he did not pay a any patience, and he accessed to his own world. As his car sales clerk, then he climbed much higher and higher, even his heart has given to his business, and he was really so far away from God. May God have mercy on him!

When he was young, he was thin; his body on both sides of the ribs which were  as a keyboard, and the growth of his age, his weight was up to one hundred kilograms (two hundred pounds). When he was in the shower in the bath tub, he stepped on it, and he broke it; and then he wanted to lose some weights, and his efforts have also been progress. As our home decoration, I specifically requested the supervisor for the most expensive material which was also the solid bath tub. As result, my genius younger brother's legs as elephant’s foot had broken twice. Wow! He was very good!

10. Stealing Money

One right side: there were my father,

my younger brother and I



One day, I stole a few coins to buy bubble gum, but my mother caught me later, and she asked me; "Which hand is being taken money?" Then I answered "The left hand." After that, she hit my left hand hardly, it had swollen like a mountain high, then she took me to the doctor and said: "I fell…. ."

After returning home, my mother told me; “You need to remember this lesson, not to steal money again.” Since then, I did not dare to steal money or steal anything from others wherever big or small.

I have already learned my stealing lesson, after that I have never stolen from others and keep a honest way. There were no a mother who would bit me, because she has passed away for 20 years. I love her who has talked me unforgivable lesson in my life. “Do not steal!” 

9. A female teacher has a lot of patience



When I was in second and third grade, and my teacher was a fifty-year-old female teacher, she knew I could not keep my studying level, so that she taught me for an hour every day after my school, and then she told me to read the Chinese words, learn to write, each word, she cut into a lot of parts of Chinese characters, she taught me every section which was short and clear, then one section to another section until I understood it. It is an important thing that she had never hit me and called me stupid.

She taught me over and over; again and again, after that I could improve my reading, writing and speaking; but my school result was no good at all, and I was still the lowest in my class. It seamed everybody who was clever, but my height was very tall.

When I grew up, my height was getting shorter and shorter, because I am more cleaver than before.

 

 

8. Blister’s Head

In Antigua Cross with

my missionary' friends

(first row, first person on the right)

I entered primary school first grade, my head covered with blisters, and then my mother took me to cut my hair into the bored head. Every day, wearing hats to my school, and sores was itchy, and my nails scratched my head until turning the blood and water, and not long before, it became a full head of abscess, as long as the bleeding of water, it flew the other areas of my head, and then it would be long sores again, my classmates who were not sure that I was a  boy or girl? Because of blistered head, I have almost had no friends, everybody hated me, and they were away from me that time.

My mother helped me wash my hair and put on medicines on my head every day, She had also taken me to Song Shan district and I had eaten the snake’s soup for a half year. Then my sores and pustules were disappeared without a trace; otherwise, I could be a queen with the blistered head.

In my childhood, my mother would not allow me to go out and play, I would give the girls as companions with a lot of candies, let they stayed with me at home, and I play games until eating time, and then they all went home, I could not keep them with more candies, and I was probably not a very popular, but also I was a stupid girl, I always find other girls to play with me, or ask them to be my friend, but I am not very popular, this was my unhappy childhood.

I hope one day, I will become a good friend to others, the others will become my good friends. Many times of devotion and prayer, finally God said to me; "Do not beg people to be your friends who like you, or won’t like you; they like you and they will be your friends. You beg people for friendship! You cannot get one!"

 
     Now me;  I have many good friends, they are distributed around the world, some of them witnessed for Jesus, or they were seeking for God, and some of them are  following the world, they are in need of our prayers. Salvation will belong to the people who I have met!

7. Stammer

I sat first person on right

I stood first person on right



During elementary school, I did not know how to become a "stuttering" girl, I speak a word to the next word to be stopped for several seconds to several minutes, my two years younger brother who was smart, sharp, he studied only a year of kindergarten and he had tested private Da-Hua Primary school, but he also up directly to Da-Hua junior school, I always think If there were God, and God is really unfair to me?

Every day after school, my younger brother asked my mother for cookies, then he got many  cookies, I was stuttering to talk to my mother, so that I did not always got cookies, I also suffered that it was my mother slapped on my  face, and then she said: "If you speak  clearly, I will give you cookies too.” I was so shameful and then I ran away. And I saw my younger brother’s hands of biscuits, his mouth full was eating with gusto, and then I walked away with crying, after I thought it which was really very unfair.

Soon after, due to language barriers, my parents took me to see a particular language, National Taiwan University (Specialist), she said: "Your tongue is too long, so you can not pronoun good words; you need to cut the long tongue for chopped point." And she added; "If I do not have surgery, otherwise I can never learn any second language." But today I can speak eight languages, stuttering is not common. But occasionally there will be coming back, and then disappear into the normal. God gave me in English and Spanish, and even Swahili language (East African), I do not want to say; "God, you are so unfair." but I am with a grateful heart, and one day I hope to become a English evangelist for million congregations, and I hope this dream is not too far away.

If the Lord is willing, he will use this humble servant, me. I am willing to have God’s treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from me. (2 Corinthians 4: 7) May I have this ability to shine, and I will seek the kingdom of God first (Matthew 6:33) and I will complete the mission to whom he has entrusted to me.

6. Big Fire

My younger brother and I

were watching at a fish



I was six years old, a fire destroyed our house, we became a family of four homeless people, when the housing is a wooden house, because of electrical fire, it only took ten minutes to burn a row of military dependents of the houses, and my mother put me on diagonally opposite the grocery store, I wore a thin top. In this cold autumn morning, my mother went home, when the fire started. She was looking for her key to open the safe closet, because she was anxiety and she could not find the right key to open it, and the neighbors pulled out my mother, we were nothing out, but we were safe for my family and it sounded sweet as my dear family, after that I think this is the biggest lucky day for us!

After we slept on ground floor for our family, and we were staying over at Wu mother house, the last spot, we moved to live at the military field, where there were not a lot of glass windows and doors, and no furniture, but I would have many playmates.  Because of this fire, then we were close our relationship distance. My mother was very capable, she would be pasted corrugated paper windows and doors, with the single combination of military aircraft into our bed to sleep in, Ding older brother and Ding older sister took my younger brother and I to see the mountain, they rode bikes and carried us, then the long walk before we were close to the foot of this mountain. I often played with fifth Ding’s brother, and Ding's home was the best place in my childhood, and Ding’s mother was the best  mother in the world. Fortunately, the second Ding’s brother was my tutor, when he Just started tutorial, I wanted to sleep, and the Ding’s mother and Ding’s uncle had seven children - five boys and two girls, I liked at their house for dinner, I was eating like the delicious meal with rice crust, I had big, small things, I was looking for the Ding’s brothers and sisters for help, and they were very nice to my younger brother and I.

After our house was built and it was finished at the military community, because our family house with Gau's family house swapped, so I live next door to the Ding’s family, I had the time, I run into Ding’s house, then Ding mother gave me 3 minutes needle soup to eat, and plus the Kangshan chili sauce, this was my favorite food in my childhood. I had been listening to adults, said; "I am a very young age to eat spicy kimchi in the Valley home, I ate it with my tears, even my lips were swollen up like people were biting my face." I like to eat hot peppers, and then I grew up, and I have had more perseverance and tough characters in my spirit.

 Oh God!  Nice for my childhood!

5. Death

      

     The Bible says: 『O death, where is your sting? O death, where is thy victory? 』(Hosea 13:14; 1 Corinthians 15:55) I was a child. I am   fear of death and darkness.

First experience: a sense of fear of death is a plastic Donald Duck, when the people squeeze its body, it will make a sound, and I used a blue ballpoint pen to draw eyes on  Donald Duck, it had painted face with a lot of blue color, then my mother thought that it was too dirty and she threw it away. And she   told me: "It died." At that time, I felt unspeakable sadness and fear of death, the fear of death to any person who is around me or leave me, and he or she gradually disappeared in the world.

Since then, I had not even thought of the darkness from the dead, so I'm afraid of the darkness. When my mother turn off the lights every night, I wake up and turn on the lights, I have always turned on the lights and turn off the lights and I fought with my  mother several times before I gradually fell asleep.

When I studied at Junior college first year, there was a path from the train station to the college, and I walked and sing. When I saw the dark shadows of the trees because of the wind and then they had shaken, I shouted for help, or sometimes, I ran fastly until I left the path and turned into the main road, where there are street lights, after that I began to breathe. That time, there was a movie named "stop breathing", when people ran into zombies, the person should immediately stop breathing, zombies did not   smell of people and they jumped away.

Childhood had often experience: a ghost pressure, it made me, “I can not shout, can not get up, just waiting until the ghosts have automatically gone.”  When I have had the ghost pressure each time, I will recite the names of all the gods in Buddhism, the result was that did not help. In Junior College I went to church in the second semester of second grade, when I had a ghost pressure, I would start with the thought of prayer, and said; "the blood of Jesus has covered me, you (a ghost) do not have any power...." As soon as I was free, I got up and sat on the bed, and then I kept to thank you to Jesus, shortly after I laid back to sleep as being half asleep when the ghost was back to pressure me, I was very blunt with the thought of prayer; "Jesus is here, if you do not leave, you must be finished." The freedom came soon and I   realized that Satan is under the authority of Jesus.

 

     When I believe the Lord more, I have more confidence, but also the less afraid of the darkness, and I am not fear of death, I have known Jesus is in charge of my past, present and future, and He rules in my heart more.