45. Girl of Thunder

 

Kitchen work at the Australian Mission Training College

The Apostle John must have had a great temper, his nickname was "Son of Thunder" (Mark 3:17 Boanerga, Son of Thunder), and he must have been so angry that I should have succeeded John, and Jesus would call me "Son of Thunder." John called himself: The disciple whom Jesus loved. (John 20:2).

I grew up with a very stubborn temper, full of justice, and no lies, I hated injustice and lying, in my dictionary is black and white, which means that I see things right (white) and wrong (black) different, I will never take the middle gray route, for me: "A white lie is a lie. There were a lot of people in this world who go the gray route, and that's why I often quarreled with people, because I thought, "The more the truth was argued, the clearer it becomes." This kind of personality must have offended people all day long, hating me and disliking me.

When I became a missionary, I often got into arguments with people because I couldn't hide my words, and many people told pastors that I wasn't fit to be a competent missionary, that I had all my shortcomings, that people could criticize me behind my back, but God looked at my heart. One day, the pastor spoke to me, and he told me that many people said to him, “I'm too grumpy to be a missionary.” But Pastor Chen told me, "If God uses the apostles Peter and John, the Lord will definitely use me." Think about my imperfections, God loves me as I am, and uses my imperfect self to be His handmaiden, which is really nerve-wracking for Pastor and God.

I was studying at the Missionary Training College in Australia, and there was a teacher who counted my temper, and I went from arguing and losing my temper every day to not having any temper tantrums (depression), and the older I got, the more I could control my temper, and sometimes it got out of control, and I would come back to the Lord and confess my mistakes to the Lord and repent.

You think you must have some shortcomings that you can't overcome, and don't forget that God uses your imperfection to show the grace of the Lord Jesus, and this grace is sufficient for us. (2 Corinthians 12:9) isn't it?

Postscript:

In James 1:19-20, it says, "But be quick to hear, and slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of men does not accomplish the righteousness of God." I am now learning to hear some things, from the left ear, and out from the right ear if the bad ones came out of the right ear, so that I could learn to get angry slowly according to these verses, and if I don't learn well once, I learn every time, and one day I will learn it.